Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mind FCK

It took me nearly half my work day to realize not only that it is Wednesday, but also that it is still 2010 not 2011.
I promise this isn't quite as crazy as it sounds... i save all my files as 2011 because it is our fiscal year 2011...

The IT guy can find his way around any and all the computers in the office... but he can't find an actual office.  He sent me an email response today letting me know that he couldn't find me.
I couldn't access the network drive for most of the day.

Since today IS Wednesday, that means Volleyball!  And, even better, tomorrow is my day off.  Yep.  DAY.
I haven't had one of those since two Tuesdays ago.  Or is it three?

I drank about 100 cups of coffee today.

Monday (I think) I worked at both places.  A 14 hour work day off three hours of sleep.  I thought it was Tuesday.

Last week, was it?, a guy basically told me that my degree was worthless because I am just working at a grocery store.  The same week, maybe the same day, a lady screamed at me to just "bag her damn groceries."
I don't get why I, any of us, are treated this way.  We are obviously not totally worthless because people would literally die without us.  Sometimes I think they will have a heart attack when I tell them that we are out of Mandarin Orange Chicken.  They certainly act like it is the end of the world.
Yesterday a lady asked me for about five things that we have never carried, and then got extremely angry when I told her we didn't have any of them.  She must have though she was at Whole Foods. 
And I'm the stupid one.

I can't keep my house clean.  I'm trying to finish my costume.
Luckily Jonathan really stepped up these last few weeks in keeping the house together.  I just feel bad that the only food is apples and bread. 
I keep forgetting to buy rice.

My brain feels like it is only half working.  It takes me most of my shift at the MCM to wake up.  And halfway through my shift at TJs I'm ready for bed.
I want to cut my hours.  But only one of these jobs pays me.  And it's not the one that I love going to.

I question how I used to do this all the time, you know?  And actually keep it together...  How on earth did I work fifty hours a week and go to school full time?!  I'm not working much more than that now and without the school. 

I don't think that I am happy.
I've been sick, and I haven't been sleeping in the past week.
Before that, I was sleeping.  And I got used to it.  I started to feel like a normal person, that could get a normal amount of rest.
The thing is, the less amount of sleep I get at night is the more time I spend spacing out during the day, or just trying to take a nap but being too wired.
I don't even know how much all this makes sense... I am just tired.

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