I've started having panic attacks again. Not as bad as before... but when it comes to panic attacks, is there really a point in measuring severity?
I had one at work yesterday. I managed to keep it to myself even though I felt like I couldn't breath for what seemed like an hour. It was probably twenty minutes.
The thing that really freaks me out, though, is the thought that I am turning in to my old crazy self. I've always been terrified that I would become like that again. And I'm showing all the signs of it happening.
I don't sleep much. I'm losing weight like crazy. Which, as hard as it may be to believe, is not fun when it happens on accident. And my anxiety is off the charts.
It shouldn't come as much of a surprise, considering all the stress I am putting myself through lately.
I guess it really is completely different from before. The fact that I kept it under control yesterday should prove that to me.
I also feel like I have a closer network of friends this time. I actually feel like this won't be permanent and I will be okay.
I didn't have that last time.
One day at a time, I guess.