Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Catharsis... please?

I currently have my mother's old car.  I am so thankful that I have parents who can help me out as my life decides to take all these crazy turns...
I brought it in to get an oil change about a week after I got it... and it is leaking coolant or somthing of the sort.  So my parents fix it for me.  I left my car there for two days... and then today, when I am almost to my house... the check engine light comes on, and it starts smoking.

Even though my bad car accident (or accident #1 as I like to call it) was about a month ago, I just started hurting  this past week.  First, just sore.  Hard to get out of bed.  Headaches.  Really not that unusual for me.  But every morning that I woke up, I felt worse.  I went to the chiropractor, he asked my how I could function with my neck in the shape that it is in... said he had never felt it that bad before.  So I had my massage therapist friend work on me.  He did my neck last night.  I didn't have a headache for a few hours and it was heaven!
But then, later that night as I was trying to sleep, I was in so much pain I my whole body was shaking.  My lower back muscles were spasming, and everthing felt like it was trying to kill me.  I don't think that I have ever been in that much pain before.  Mostly because it was my whole body, not just one spot.
So my friend worked on my lower back and legs today.  He asked me how I could even walk.  My muscles were all bunched up in knots at the base of my spine...
usually, he can beat me up pretty good and I won't get hurt... meaning I like deep tissue massages... but at a few points today (and he was being gentle) I actually cried out it hurt so bad.
Then he tells me (after a severe muscle spasm going throughout my entire leg) that my knee is really messed up.  I didn't even notice.

So what am I going to do about all this?  Well, I tried calling the insurance adjuster who handled the claim on this accident, but he is out of town until tomorrow and not accepting messages.  Even though I doubt he would return my call anyway.  The other problem is that there are two claims on my insurance after that. 

Apparently I somehow scratched the roof of the rental car... that one should be easy to claim that I didn't have an injury... especially since I have absolutely no idea how it happened.  But the other one was me scratching a car as I was parking... I know I know... but my car is a frickin boat!  It's huge!
I didn't even feel myself hitting the other car, but I don't know if it will affect their willingness to pay out for the first accident.  I didn't report an injury because I felt totally fine.  I was sore for a couple days, but really didn't feel anything for a month!  Which, I guess is not that uncommon.

Anyway, this is how my new year is starting out.  But I don't want to get down about it.  It's hard not to... especially when I am laying in bed wanting pain killers, heating my knee, and icing my back. 
I would apply for jobs, but the thing is, I am actually really out of it.  I feel like I have done drugs or drank a whole bunch or something.  I think it is just because I hurt that badly.  All I have taken is ibuprofin.  I don't even like pain killers.  They made me crazy when I took them for my back last time. 
I may go to the actual doctor tomorrow... especially if I can't make it through work.  That is the scary part.  What if I miss work, and the insurance company doesn't accept my claim?!  I don't want to go through all this.  I have seen what it can be like!  It scares the crap out of me...
well, I guess just one thing at a time.  Bring the car in again.  call the insurance adjustor.  go to the doctor if neccessary. 
But for now, early bed time.


  1. Take big deep breathes, remind yourself that you are not alone, meditate on things that help you relax and soak in the tub if you can...listen to calming music...have you tried altranating between ice and heat? I think most of all you need to take care of yourself right now and rest in the knowledge you have people that are willing to help you. I know I'm 2 hours away but if there is anything I can do for you I will do it. Sending you positive thoughts,lots of hugs and much love. XX

    PS I will pray!

  2. Thank you, wonderful aunt! Things seem to be getting better. I went to the doctor, got ahold of my insurance people... and they switched my adjustor so I don't have to deal with the jerk anymore! The lady was super helpful and actually answered all my questions. Although I still don't know if they will pay, it was heading in that direction... they just need to look at my medical records and stuff. So hopefully that works out! I'm taking a week off work. I hate to do that, but if I have to, then I have to.
    Thank you again for your kind words!