OK. Seriously. Getting really sick of this!
I haven't had a good nights sleep for awhile. For some reason though, I'm not that tired today. But my dreams are getting really frustrating!
You think I'm a bit nervous about graduating??
Last night-more dreams about my thesis. Which is due one week from tomorrow. I'm going to work on it in just a few minutes... but I really don't want to! I feel like I have been working on it all night!
It is really horrible to feel like I just went through all the hard work of putting all my thoughts onto paper, and then wake up, and realize that I still only have four pages written.
Too often I get stuck at a standstill. Too often I let myself worry so much about what I have to get done that I can't get anything done.
And now I have an added "I don't feel well" attitude to add to it.
I've decided though, that positive thinking is the way I should be dealing with this.
And anybody who knows me, knows that that is NOT me. It's not that I am super negative. I'm just a realist. And a realist with somewhat unrealistic worries... like I always think that I did just SOOOO horrible on a test, when in fact I got a B+ on it. Or the fact that I think a C is failing. Or that I worry about my friends and family dieing just because I had a bad dream about it.
Enough of that. Positive thinking.
If I think happy thoughts, and tell myself that I feel okay. And that if I continue to eat healthy food, and eat more often, and drink lots of water (and pee every half hour), and get my B12 up, then I will feel better. I will feel worlds better.
And when I am done with school, when I get a chance to regain my mental and physical strength, I will feel better.
I am burnt out.
Five years of school (well more like four and a half because I took a semester off), working for most of it, along with all the emotional stuff that happens to everyone in college, deserves a break.
I am not going to worry about what I am doing after college.
I am not going to worry about a job.
I have a job.
And it suits me for right now.
I have a loving family.
I have a great relationship with my boyfriend (and it just seems to be getting better!).
I have great friends.
What more do I need?