Saturday, May 1, 2010


Is it really possible that something as simple as stress could be causing me to feel like this?
OK, ok, I know it's not really simple. But I have a hard time believing that I am this physically ill just from stress. But I have no idea what else it could be.
I am not anemic, I don't have thyroid issues, I don't have very low blood sugar... I just have a vitamin b12 deficiency, and the selective insomnia that I have always dealt with.
And yes, I am busy right now. It is a stressful time.
But I have dealt with stress. Anxiety. Depression.
I know the physical symptoms that these cause me.
I know my body.
But I don't know what is wrong with me right now.
All I know is that I really wanted to go to work today. I missed yesterday, found someone to work for me so I could get a little extra sleep.
I can't miss that many days. I don't know exactly what the limit it... but I have been missing a lot of work lately.
And I need money. Of course.
But mostly, I just miss being able to go to work, and enjoy my work day, and not come home feeling like I just ran a marathon.
I like my job.
But it has been too exhausting for me to be there lately.
And when I got there today, I was burning up with a fever. Some of the middle aged, mom-like, women convinced me to go home.
They are concerned, not only about me, but that I will spread whatever I have to the rest of the staff. Which would be really horrible.
But I don't seem to be contagious.

I apparently needed it though.
I came home and slept for three hours. Woke up because people kept calling me. And then watched Bones while doing some artwork, and took another nap.

I have completely taken over the little living room! I moved the fold-up table in there so I can sit on the couch and watch movies on Jonathan's computer (it has a really big screen).

So, hopefully I will get enough rest to make it through the next week and a half... at least till school is done.
Then we will see if I get better once the stress is gone...

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